slap-a da bass-a!

tch and i have been running around for the last couple of hours frantically searching for a possible bass i could use for my first lesson tomorrow! all our plans kept hitting dead ends and i was starting to think "oh noes!" but then, of course... God provided :)

yayy for hmong people! and thank goodness for good friends!

i can't wait for my first lesson tomorrow! even though it's almost a two hour drive, i'm excited because angela and i will be learning an instrument other than the piano :P

also, charlie had surgery this afternoon for a hernia so my parents and i visited him and his family at the hospital. praise the Lord he is safe and sound and heavily sedated :D unfortunatley, he's bummed because he can't play football for 6weeks...which is the rest of the season. but here's to a speedy recovery!

in other news, i've been reading through hosea and it's pretty crazy seeing what God and israel's relationship was like. some things i've been trying to work on these last few weeks are memorizing scripture, not praying while sleepy, and most of all -- patience and trust in God. i always obsess and overanalyze over the littlest things and it's always been a real struggle for me to just let go and let God.

please keep me in your prayers! and, as always, let me know how i may pray for you :)

i don't know if you ever look at this, but

i just wanted you to know..

"Sometimes you need to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve."

--

on another note, alawreck told me he's moving away for 3yrs. i'm sad.. but it's not goodbye, right? it's a see-you-later.... man, idk. God has something amazing up His sleeve :)

remember when i wrote about how everyone gets sucked up into their own little lives once the school year starts? and we forget about the friendships we forged over summer.. the friendships we made deeper over summer... idk. maybe i'm thinking too much again.. but it's happened. it's happening. my heart aches every time i think about how much we cease to care about each other and the things we struggle with because we're just too busy with ourselves... our schoolwork, our family problems, our life... me me me me me me me.

my dad's right. we're just consumers.

of course, i'm guilty of it too! please don't see me perched up top with a "holier than thou" attitude.. the Lord has been kind enough to keep me humble.. and if you ever feel i'm not, i implore you to approach me (in love, please!) and let me know so.. but idk.

i look around a lot and i'm just like 'man. this world is crazy. everyone's got problems.. i am only one person. i can't be everywhere at once.' and the helplessness kicks in.

BUT THEN, WAIT!

God kinda punches me on the arm and He says "Hey. that's why I sent you Jesus."

and once again, there is hope :)

taking another step --

i just submitted my application to UNT. i know i'll probably most likely get accepted.. but it's still a little nerve-wracking! i gotta go ask quad C to submit my transcript this week. i wonder what God has in store for me these next couple of months..

<3

sha la la la la la my oh my!

i had a really good day :)
that is all :)

let's take it back to 2003

it was a beautiful letdown

when i c r a s h e d and burned

when i found myself alone

unknown and hurt

it was a beautiful letdown

the day i knew

that all the riches this world had to offer me

would never do

in a world full of bitter pain

and bitter doubts

i was trying so hard to fit in

fit in, until i found out

i don't belong here (i don't belong)

i don't belong here (i don't belong)

i will carry a cross and a song

where i don't belong

i don't belong

it was a beautiful letdown

when You found me here

yeah, for once in a rare blue moon

i see everything clear

i'll be a beautiful letdown

that's what i'll forever be

and though it may cost my soul

i'll sing for free

we're still chasing our tails

in the rising sun

in our dark water planet still spinning

in a direction no one wins

no one's won.

see, i don't belong here (i don't belong)

well, i don't belong here, i don't belong

i will carry a cross

with a song where i don't belong

i don't belong

i don't belong here (i don't belong)

no, i don't belong here, i don't belong

i'm gonna set side

and set sail

for the kingdom come, kingdom come

Your kingdom come

won't You let me down, yeah

let my foolish pride forever let me down

ah, easy living, you're not much like the name

easy dying, you look just about the same

would you please take me off your list

easy living please c'mon and let me down

we are a beautiful letdown

painfully uncool

the church of the dropouts

the losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools

what a beautiful letdown

are we salt in the wound

hey, let us sing one true tune

i don't belong here (i don't belong)

it feels like i don't belong here, yeah

it goes like i don't belong here

i don't belong (i don't belong)

won't you let me down (i don't belong)

c'mon and let me down (i don't belong)

You always let me down (i don't belong)

so glad that i'm let down (i don't belong)

c'mon and let me down (i don't belong)

'cause i don't belong here

won't You let me down!

switchfoot - beautiful letdown

--

i don't much like how the actual song sounds but the lyrics are just whoa. all the pain and hurt and loss we experience in life just pales in comparison knowing that

Jesus found us, and

He wanted us, and

He saved us, and

He took us

just as we are.

sorry, but that is NOT me.

i am NOT second choice,

and i am NOT disposable.

don't treat me like yesterday's trash that

you can drop at the curb and then

recycle&reuse when you finally deem me

worthy enough of your time.

whoaaaaa, steady.

i think we all need to have a little more accountability and encouragement in our lives.

amen?

let me know how i can help. please<3

the heckkkk

i always get the randomest urges to clean.

for example, my brain finds it IMPERATIVE that i clean my closet. so i'm tackling one corner at a time.

i'm hunger. why am i always so hungry?!

you make me wary.

i feel like i should be in a 'ready to strike back' position .. :/

words can't even express how i feel for you.

i love you and i'm praying for you. please just keep holding on.

God has a plan

i'm building a wall and i pray it won't come down.

i feel like

everyone

is

falling

apart.

but please

just

hang

on.

Hope is on the way

3 hrs of sleep

got through the entire day without getting sleepy once! praise God.

now i feel like i'm about to crash and burnnnnnnn

somebody call 911! shawty fire burnin on the dance floor

whoaaaaaaa!

school=whack

twitter twitter twitter

whoooo-eeeee

i think the impending arrival of my period is causing me to experience 32984 different emotions within a short amount of time. i apologize if you are on the receiving end of any of my Moods :)


la la la la, la la la la, elmo's world.


why is it that i always do everything BUT what i need to do when i need to do something? EX: i should be reading the odyssey's books 3-6 right na na na..but instead.. i am blogging. and cleaning my room.



it's times like these i'm thankful mi papi blocked fb at home or else i'd be O_O


as of late, my attempts at guitar have been... MEH! i can't seem to get the hang of the 'D' chord though. boo :( and the 'F' chord is giving me some trouble...

you know, i've had my cowgirl boots for almost 2 yrs and i have yet to find the perfect outfit to go with it. and i'm still in search of a cowgirl hat! anyone know a good place to buy one? ...i think only two people read this blog. hi matt. hi tch. :D


i'm craving honey nut cheerios,
cookie crisps,
frosted flakes,
and lucky charms.


MUAH!

real talk

man you know what? i don't know who reads this or whatever.. but let me tell yall something.

sometimes i can't take it. YEAH i do take it personally when someone doesn't call me back. i take it kinda personal when people don't write me back on facebook, but they write everyone else back. it may seem stupid to you because "oh it's just facebook" and yeah i get that. so it's whatever.

but i'm sick of IMing you.

of IMtexting you.

of calling you...

and getting crap in return. i take it personally and then i just swallow it and try again.

you guys are so freakin rude.

i'm trying to reach out.. i'm sorry i didn't try earlier.. but i'm trying now.

that's gotta count for something, right?

i know things come up.. you might be busy at the moment i'm trying to reach you..but i know you aren't busy all day.. i KNOW you freaking text on your phone all the freaking time.... so maybe you can be a little courteous when i'm trying to reach you? let me know "hey i'm a little busy but i'll get back to you later." just SOMETHING??? please??

it's just crap like this that makes me want to crawl into a hole and not come out. how do You do it, God?

i keep asking to hang out and you say you'll give me a call later but you DON'T. i wanna say i'll stop trying, but knowing me, i'll keep trying.

this rant isn't out to attack anyone in particular.. it's just a whole lot of yall doing the same thing to me so it gets really frustrating. i don't mean to offend you or make you angry.. just hear me out. someone please LISTEN.

so here's what it is.

i don't want your pity..i just want you to know.

and to maybe understand.

Jesus never quit trying. His love for us didn't have limits or conditions.

that's the example i'm trying to live out to you.

a recommendation!

i just watched 'the ultimate gift.'

i definitely recommend it if you're looking for something to watch. i cried a lot. the movie has a great message overall :) i'm gonna add it to my list of favorite movies.

i wanna have a movie night with my youth so we can watch it!

"Even if you don't have a dream of your own, you can give dreams to others - help them to fulfill their dreams."

remorse?

"God doesn't give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be."

my friendships with people have been heading

in different directions for almost a year now.

i can often go about my days normally, but some days i just....

i wish i could pinpoint the exact point in time

where everything got off track

stars

you should see the stars tonight

how they shimmer s h i n e so bright

against the black they look so white

comin down from such a height

to reach me now, reach me now

you should see the moon in the flight

cuttin cross the misty night

softly dancin in sunshine

reflections of this light

reach me now, you reach me now

and how could such a thing

shine its light on me

and make everything beautiful again

and you should feel the sun in the spring

comin out after a rain

suddenly all is green

sunshine on everything

i can feel it now, i feel you now

and how could such a thing

shine its light on me

and make everything beautiful

and you should hear the angels sing

all gathered round their King

more beautiful than you could dream

i've been quietly listening

you can hear 'em now, i hear em now

and how could such a King

shine His light on me

and make everything b e a u t i f u l

and i wanna shine

i wanna be light

i wanna tell you it'll be alright

and i wanna shine and i wanna fly

just to tell you now

it'll be alright, it'll be alright

it'll be alright.

cus i got nothing of my own to give to you

but this light that shines on me shines on you

and makes everything beautiful, again.

it'll be alright, it'll be alright.

this song has been on my ipod for about two years now but i always hit next when it came up. never really gave it a chance. i was driving home from school, and this song was so beautiful i just kept it on repeat. it's got a way of reminding me how perfect God is and how ugly i am... and yet He loves me, He loves me, He loves me. i'll never have to worry about a thing..

God is in control and He's got a beautiful plan :)

so just sit back, enjoy the music and enjoy the ride <3

my car needs to be washed.

i miss summer. and the houston folk :(

saltgrass for dinner tomorrow. yum!

i'm in a chick flick kinda mood.

p.s..... :)